Forgiveness (and context) - the 5 W's and an H of it

Young journalists as far back as middle school or even grade school newspapers learn the 5 W's and an H - who, what, where, when, why, and how.

In this post on forgiveness and how this relates to the need for revival, I started to put enough of those W's in the title I decided to simply title it as I did. They won't be in the exact order as above, but not all articles use that order, either. (Or even all six. The location of the Super Bowl will often be buried in a story about the actual game, if it's given at all, for instance. There might not be a "where" here either, except as it relates to "when," but the others are here.)

Forgiveness has been given many definitions. A nice, simple one will actually help the discussion on our problem as a nation with understanding context in a little bit. In an 8th season episode of "Full House," eight-year-old Michelle tells her 3-year-old cousins it means something like, "You love me and you'll give me another chance."

A good Biblical one is wiping the slate clean. That doesn't mean to put yourself in harm's way - forgiveness doesn't mean you let someone keep throwing rocks at you, it just means you give up the chance to throw rocks back at them, something very common in people.

This spirit of anger and  frustration is part of our human nature that comes to the forefront a lot when it comes to lack of forgiveness, because it is our nature to want to retaliate; hence the saying, "To err is human, to forgive divine."

Forgiveness is done regardless of context, but context makes it easier, just as in my example about the person who cuts you off in traffic. When we forgive, we choose not to retaliate (in action, word, or thought) regardless of the context. However, if the person is rushing to the hospital to see a relative who has been badly hurt, it's much easier to forgive than if the person is just a lousy driver. the points are that, first, we used to be more forgiving regardless of which it is (or if it's both), and second, sometimes there is no way to know the context (unless you see them peeling into a hospital parking lot) and so that attitude of forgiveness should be with us anyway, instead of the intense rushing to judgment that I mentioned earlier we need to repent of as part of our seeking forgiveness for ourselves and our country.

Interestingly, I read a few comments once that said it didn't sound like something an 8-year-old would say. I replied that it might be a bit advanced for normal conversation, but it's exactly like what a child that age memorizes in Sunday School to get a piece of candy. And, fans of "Full House" certainly recall how she loved chocolate. :-)

What was happening when people complained about this line was an act of refusing to grasp context. Context is vital in many things. My last post on our society's obsession with computer screens listed a few reasons and results, such as people who don't always have the depth of relationships. This lack of depth perception, if you will, also leads to problems in context like this. Granted there is a presumption - that she had, at some point, been in a Sunday School or Vacation Bible School setting and memorized this. However, it's a very plausible one - Stephanie prays for her favorite stuffed animal friend, Mr. Bear, to be returned in "Goodbye, Mr. Bear," Kimmy says she baked strudels int he shape of the Wise Men once, and a couple other things indicate the girls would at least have ridden a bus or van to church at times. Michelle is nuts about chocolate and she'd use any excuse to try and get some, too. So, you can see that in context, it's very plausible Michelle would recite that to Nicky and Alex when she apologizes and asks them to forgive her for getting frustrated and yelling at them, as 8-year-olds do at times.

(I won't get into the fact shows take place over days many times, and we see only 1/2 hour out of 168 in their lives each week (1/336th) - it's not a presumption that they have full lives outside of what we see on TV, even between scenes in the episodes themselves.)

Are we forgiving - and healthy - as we should be?

Forgiveness, then, is something we did a lot more of before, and should do now - in fact, even secular studies show forgiveness is very healthy. In fact, we like to think we are a very forgiving society, but there is actually a big problem. We often refuse to give second chances, or we do only after retaliating.

The reasons, of course, are the same as why people don't always choose to wipe the slate clean on other things. Peer pressure, wanting to seem "better than the other person," etc.. This desire to see who looks the best on the outside is one of the main problems of our politically correct culture, and is why so few are willing to give second chances, such as with Colin Cowherd's latest fumbling of words on ESPN radio. Was he wrong to say it the way he said it? Yes, of course. Could one have chosen to interpret him as trying to talk about the lack of educational opportunities instead of about intelligence? Yes, but it was taken by many as a comment about intellectual ability instead.

However, the point is that people often are let go rather than others forgiving and giving a chance to make amends. (Of course, context is crucial in the above case, too - he was leaving very soon for Fox Sports anyway. Perhaps a different action would have been taken otherwise.)

Indeed, when we fail to forgive others, it is one of those things I noted earlier makes it hard for this nation to see repentance revival. Psalm 66:18 says, "If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear my prayer." We are all sinners, but what this is saying is, God won't listen to a prayer being made while you're plotting something evil, desiring to take revenge yourself on someone, etc.. "Vengeance is mine," saith the Lord; indeed, if we do good to those who hate us we heap burning coals on their foreheads.(Rom.12:20-21) We should pray for God to deal with a  person and not desire to avenge ourselves. He does a much better job, anyway.

We claim to be forgiving, but forgiveness should involve accepting we all have faults, as noted, and being willing to start anew. (This post was actually wiped 90% clean at one point; it was my blunder that caused it to be 90% wiped out, but forgiving ourselves is also important; a good message about that is here. But the devil tries to distract us, too, so as I mentioned in the post on spiritual warfare, the devil really hates the idea of this getting out.)

How to forgive (and repent)

By accepting others' faults, we are not saying that they are right, it is only saying we are improving, too, and we are all working on things. As a signature file on one person's posts I saw once in a forum said, "Help me forgive those who sin differently than I do." We may not all cut people off in traffic (especially if like me you can't see enough to drive) but we do other things that fall short of perfection.

This is why the Bible says, "Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."(Eph.4:32) In other words, that childrens' paraphrase from earlier - just as God gives us each another chance, many times over, we should to others.

Indeed, God is constantly giving us second chances. His first words to the first sinners were "Where art thou?" (Note: You can also hear an audio recreation here.) He wanted to give Adam another chance. Had Adam not come out of hiding and admitted he'd done wrong(albeit blaming someone else) he could not have gotten this chance, but he did. Yes, a penalty had to be enforced for the sin, but God covered their sin by shedding innocent blood (likely a lamb), symbolizing how He would one day come in the person of Jesus Christ, GOd in flesh, to take the punishment for all the world's sin.

It is in this way we should forgive, before the person even apologizes. In demanding an apology, we are saying forgiveness is not free when it should be. This is how God does it, after all. Yes, repentance is needed to cleanse us, but remember that repentance isn't just "saying you're sorry." Repentance is turning from your sin and trusting Jesus to save you, calling on Jesus by faith to cleanse you from sin.

Then, because He "bore our sins in His body"(1 pet. 2:24), and "became sin for us" though he "knew no sin"(2 Cor.5:21), He will save you and take away all your sins, past, present, and future. We can't do anything to earn it, it is "by grace ye are saved through faith, and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not of works, lest any man coast."(Eph.2:8-9) In other words, it's a free gift, not earned or deserved. Then, if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."(1 John 1:9)

So, we should forgive because we are not perfect, either. It doesn't mean putting ourselves in harm's way, but it does mean giving the person more chances whenever that is possible - within reason, that is, of course. And, sometimes a penalty must be assessed first; at times a severe one, such as Michael Vick's before he returned to the NFL. But, he is also a perfect case of someone who did successfully change. IF only our nation's people could repent and seek God to change them inside that quickly.

However, we live in such a vengeful society today, especially with the people venting all their emotion on social media, that it can be very hard. It involves setting aside sometimes very serious emotions. But, that is why we need to do it even more, by admitting we ourselves are also at fault at times.

Connecting back to national repentance

Where does this have to do with repentance? As i noted several times, we have so much dividing us, and we must come together as one race, the human race, realizing we are all humans who must come together in prayer for this country. There are things we must seek forgiveness for in the last 400 years, not just the last 40.

Sometimes, praying for the oppressors as well as the oppressed can help us learn to forgive them anyway; indeed, Jesus tells us to pray for those who despitefully use us. But, it's also important, on a personal level, to avoid this desire to seek revenge and instead to offer forgiveness and a sense of peace that can then spread.

Sure, there will be some who refuse to truly come out and admit things, even after many years. But, remember that this kind of person is the one God will judge because they refuse to let Him remove their sins - if they have not trusted and called on Jesus to forgive them, they will be separated from God's perfect love forever in a horrible place created only for the devil and his rebellious angels. If they are saved having unconfessed sin will cause them to lose blessigns and rewards and possibly ruin their testimony.(And remember, just as Jesus said there would be false Chirsts, there are people who only pretend to be Christians. We don't know the peoples' hearts.)

So, become more forgiving and understanding. As a spirit of being more forgiving and undertanding spreads, it will cause managements and others to do the same.

This Spirit must come from God, though. For Him to heal our land, We must turn from our wicked ways as God says in Jeremiah 18:7-10.(2 Chronicles 7:14 is also quoted a lot, but while it's possible it only refers to God's chosen people, Israel, these verses clearly refer to Gentile nations.)

It is hard for us ourselves, in our flesh. But, that is why knowing God first is essential, so he can fill you with His Spirit and let you grow in your love for others, letting the compassion for others grow as vengeance, retaliation, and so on shrink in your mind as you focus more and more on that unconditional love. And, instead of jumping on others right away for somethign bad, forgive, just as God has forgiven you.